Could it get anymore weirder
by Succatash
Summary: The Animorphs have a chance to defeat Visser One. Will they take it? Of course. But not without slapping eachother along the way...Second chapter! Never thought i's make one.Really short and not as funny, but still worth a good laugh
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- Animorphs ain't mine

This is a challenge fic from my cousin:

1. Marco and Ax must kiss

2. Someone must go temporarily insane

3. Someone must rob McDonalds.

4. The Animorphs must steal a high-tech Johnny On The Go in order to stop Visser Three from becoming a plumber.

5.Tobias has a dream about whatever hes paranoid about

6. The Ellimist has a jarful of toenails.

*Marco and Ax are in a ski lodge drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows. Marco is lounged in a easy chair while Ax is standing in a tub of cocoa, his hoofs are burning and sizzling.*

Marco: So…come here often?

Ax: No, I am just here to enjoy your company, Andalites don't normally ski. *lustfully* You big…strong…man….

*Marco looked at Ax's tail blade…it was so long and so sexy. Ax noticed what he was staring at*

Ax: Kiss me you fool!

*Marco went to Ax and kissed his Andalite face. The kiss got deeper and Marco starting flitting his tongue in and out of the slits of Ax's nose.*

"Marco! Oh Marco!"

*Marco sat up straight and snapped his eyes open. It had all been a dream. Somebody was pounding on the door of his cabin and screaming his name. And they weren't moans of pleasure they were shrieking screams. He went to the door and opened it. Jake was standing there in a frilly pink dress*

Jake: She left me! She left me!

Marco: Who?

Jake: *in normal voice* Cassie, you idiot! *slaps him across the face

Marco; Oh…

Jake: *in panic voice again* And now they're coming to take me away-Ha-haa. *now his voice was low and menacing and he was giving off a evil scientist vibe*

Marco: Chill out, dude…

Jake: They're coming to take me away ha-haa! *he backs out toward the door of the cabin and stumbled on the him of his frilly pink dress. He hid his head on the stone steps and lay, unconscious. A team of people in blue doctor uniforms that said Santa Barbara's Mental Hospital came by and took him away in a stretcher*

Marco: Oh well, *he grinned* back to that dream.

Tobias's POV

Jake and I embraced each other…Getting deeper and deeper into the kiss. I slid my tongue in his mouth and searched every corner. We kissed for what seemed like hours. I could not stop my self, no matter how hard I tried. Finally, I started to tug at his shirt. It was almost completely off —

NOOOO! I cried out. I woke up and feel off of my tree branch and landed smack against a boulder. I was trying to catch my breath. It had been another dream…Another dream about those scary and evil lemons on fanfiction.net about me and Jake. I caught my breath and shook it off. When I shook it off I fell off the rock which had turned into a cliff. I was falling and falling.

"Use your wings, Tobias." a voice kept saying. It didn't understand that I couldn't. Then I passed by cliff hanger.

"We need your help, Tobias," he said. And then he snatched me in the air.

My eyes snapped open and I was looking up at a face made out of steel and ivory. The creature was shaking me silly.

"Tobias, we need your help."

Easy peasy, lemon squeazy… I said dazily.

"Tobias!" 

More mustard on the pancakes, Mommy…

"Tobias!" A large strong hand slapped me across the face and every thing came into focus.

Hey, I thought you were incapable of violence! I snapped.

"You didn't really buy that, did you?' he asked with a laugh. "Anyway, I haven't been up to date on news about the Yeerks lately cause I'm cheating on my toaster with my food processor, but…"

That was a little bit to much information, Erek, I said.

"There's word spreading around about Visser Thr—One is becoming," he looked left and right." A plumber!

Duh, duh, DUH!

I gasped, No not a plumber, anything bes—wait a minute, why is this important information?

"Think about it, Visser Thr—One in charge of the sewer systems. With his big Andalite butt crack showing and anyway, it's just…wrong for Yeerks to be plumbers."

You're right! I screamed as loud as I could AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

"Chill, Tobias," he said "Let's go warn the others…"

Script form:

*all are gathered (except Jake) in the Hork-Bajir colony*

Marco: So, Rachel, how is your anus feeling this morning?

Rachel: Much better, than— shut up, you idiot! *slaps him across the face, with a glance at Tobias*

Cassie: Where's Jake?

Marco; He's uh, occupied?

*Jake is sitting in a rubber room wearing a straightjacket but somehow he is wringing his wrists darting his eyes back and forth*

Jake: I'm mad for the place where the nuts hunt the squirrels…

*they are all informed of the situation by Erek*

*all have mouths open*

Cassie: You're cheating on your toaster?! I'm telling your daddy!  
Marco: So we have to figure out a plan to stop Visser Thr—One…

Tobias: So now you're Jake?

Ax: *stiffly* I shall never call you Prince Marco or anything equivalent to Prince.

Marco: *muttering* Gee, Ax, you're a lot nicer in my dreams

Rachel: I have a plan…

* at a fancy construction site they are all in poodle morphs*

Cassie:How are we going to get anything done in these morphs?

Marco: I don't know, you said fancy and I thought… 'what's fancier than a poodle?'

Tobias: Come on, it can't be that heavy lets use our heads *next shot for of them are holding Marco's legs in their teeth…they run as fast as the can toward a high-tech fancy Johnny On The Go port potty . Marco's head connected with it. It moved two feet, they do it again and again until it rolls down a hill and they hitch a ride on it. It stops in front of the mall. And Visser One's Blade Ship is parked in the parking lot*

Rachel: Here we go… They demorphed and Tobias morphed to human.

*Visser One comes out carrying the same frilly pink dress Jake had been wearing. They snatched him up and Marco banged him on the head with the toilet seat. Rachel looked at him skeptically.

Marco: What? It was easier than the way we were going to do it.

Visser One: You have not won yet, human. Fools! Don't you know Andalites have two lives?! But, unfortunately, I have already used four…tata humans! *Trots off to his Blade Ship*

*All look at Ax*

*Jake is sitting in the corner of the rubber room, rocking back and forth*

*Ellimist appears, he goes to jake and says "Snap out of it, dumbass!" he slaps him across the face. "For you," he says and hands Jake a phone

"Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't say I was going to leave you, I said I was going to _lay _ you."

" Well, in that case…" morphs to cockroach and gets outta there!

*Visser One is at Mc Donalds, he has the cashier at chocolate bar point*

Visser One: I said I want the country breakfast

Cashier: Sorry, sir we stop serving breakfast at 10: 30

Vvisser One *Whines* darn…Then fill up the back with green stuff!

Cashier: I'm sorry, sir?

Visser One: You heard me, put all the mayonnaise ya got in this bag!

Cashier: Mayonnaise is white not gr—

Visser One: Silence!

Voice: Freeze!

*There are police pen holding Visser one at gunpoint*

Visser One: Nobody move, I got chocolate bars!

*Everybody in the restaurant gasps*

*Some fat guy behind the visser takes off with his chocolate bars*

Visser One: Oh, pooh.

*the police surround him and beat him with nightsticks until he dies*

Marco: *to Jake* all this time we have been trying to kill him we hadn't thought of using night sticks?

Ellimist: You have done well. I have now finished my collection of Visser One's toenails.

Jake: How did you get his toenails he has hoofs

*Ellimist shrugs and then disappears…

The and


	2. Who knows?

Disclaimer- I do not own Animorphs 

A/N: Wow! A second chapter! Didn't ever think I'd make one did you? Well, I've been thinking up a storm for this one so…review and I mean just more than five which is how many I got on the first chapter.

*The Animorphs are boogying down to music coming from out of no wehere chanting "Visser One's dead! Visser One's dead! The music suddenly stopped and a middle-aged (cough) old (cough) bursts in. The Animorphs freeze in mid-dance.*

Jake: Who are you?

Middle aged man: I am his twin! Uh, no he already has a twin so…um…that wont work. I am, uh, his…yes.

Cassie: Cool! Wanna dance?

Middle aged man: No I have come to destroy you! My name is Tooklin 772 of the smoogly-poogly pool! And this is my assistant Mocus, cokus, allyokus! *Gestures to the left of him But the space is empty* What?! Where the hell did he go?!

*seen changes to a big, burly, blue-band Hork-Bajir in a mom's dress and a pearl-necklace, and is hanging laundry over a line outside to dry.*

Middle aged man: Then, here is my other assistant, Hoopla, Koopla, Boopla. What? I shall beat them with fish for a millenia!

*scene changes to colonial times, where another blue-band Hork-Bajir is locked in a public stock (A/N: For those who do not know what that is it's one of those things that have a head hole and wrist holes where you stand and they put…well…your head and you writs through it) The Pilgrims are throwing tomatoes at him and Hitler is whipping him. (Oh no! What is Hitler doing in colonial times, they must have really screwed up when they used the Time Matrix)*

Middle aged man: Damnit! How did he get there?

Tobias: Oh crap! The author can't think of what to do next! What do we do?!

All: Scream, yell, rant, rave, run in circles, create havoc, etc.

Middle aged man: I'mm gonna go create havoc of my own

*Next day, cause the author is calm now and decides it should be the next day. The scene is Jake's room. Marco and Jake are in there. Marco is staring and nodding his to pictures in Play boy and it appears that Jake is doing the same only he is doing the old magazine in a magazine trick. If we look into what he is really reading it is called "The International food records" and Jake is looking lovingly at a picture of the world's largest Burger King.*

*Once Marco leaves Jake hops onto his bike and cycles the 350 miles to well…The World's Largest Burger King. When he gets there, there is a guy in a banana suit robbing it. He recognizes this person to be Tooklin 778 of the smoogly-poorly pool! The other Animorphs were on him in a flash. Tobias in whopper morph Cassie as a quarter pounder , Marco as a double cheeseburger, Ax as a mighty kids meal bag, and Rachel as a large fry. They all squirt poisonous ketchup, mustard, and pickles at him he dies slowly and sufferingly (A/N: Hehe! I made up that word!).

Jake: How did you guys know he was here?

Cassie: Well, the first clue was when the insanity humor and the bad jokes collided. Then we figured out the only answer could only be…The World's Largest Burger King! (Duh, duh DUH!)

Jake: Oh…

(A/N: short chapter! And not as funny but I still was feeling hyper so I wrote it. ( I don't know why I bothered) so until next time!~ R/R)


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